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  • Writer's pictureCarole Stizza

Mindset Matters

Who went on a family vacation this summer only to be reminded of how hard it is to be yourself, have fun, and hold your tongue when other people did things differently than you?

Turns out, lots of us. This summer, travel was more popular than before the pandemic and it’s still on the rise. We all long to get out, see people we love in person, and travel to new places.

Yet we forget the pressure to be kind and open to those we think we know well. We try to be helpful, offer advice, or solve a problem we see occurring - all before our input is even asked for - and we wonder why it’s not always well received.

It could be that your mindset is not where it needs to be.

Was your mind set on being seen as helpful, caring, and loving?

If so, that mindset was all about you and your ego. When egos get in the mix, judgment is soon to follow, along with criticism, hurt feelings, and anger. Not a fun mix to be around.

During my travels this summer:

  • I’ve heard bickering families at the ice cream shop

  • I’ve heard people vent loudly as if no one else was listening - but everyone could hear

  • I’ve seen people throw things on the ground and stomp off

  • I’ve seen families sit in silence surrounded by the negative energy of not enjoying each other’s company

Later, these same families ask themselves, how did we get to that?

Reason number one? They were not being mindful of what they really wanted out of their time together. To be mindful, you need to intentionally pick a goal… and I’m not talking about a checklist goal of all the sights you want to see.

I’m talking about figuring out why you are even traveling together, to begin with. Have a bigger goal.

Ask yourself:

  • Are you spending time seeing the world so that you can share memories?

  • Do you want to explore new things together and share stories?

  • Do you want to discover new people with someone important?

  • Are you building time away from the craziness of life to get to know one another on a deeper level?

Whatever you decide, it needs to be something bigger than a checklist goal. If you keep the bigger reason in mind, you’ll stay focused on that big reason. This alone helps you hold your tongue, ask questions, and be a better travel mate.

No one goes on a vacation to be judged, criticized, or nagged.

Keep that in mind if you want everyone to travel together in the future.

What I’ve come to realize as I socialize with people or when I work with teams is that time together is always building towards something. If deciding on a bigger goal feels too uncomfortable, another approach is to decide what the purpose of the trip builds when you are together.

What are you building?

  • A love of travel

  • A love of family time

  • A collection of great memories together

  • A collection of souvenirs that remind you of that fight in Rome, or the food you ordered in Italy and never ate because you were mad, or the lost backpack you angrily threw down on a mountain hike, only to see it roll down the mountain, never to be retrieved. (yes, I can pull from some personal regrets too).

Mindset Matters. It will help you stay focused on the bigger idea that motivates you in a meaningful way.

Be intentional and guard your big goals too. Make sure those around you know the bigger idea of the trip and talk about it together. It will make for better stories, better memories, and a foundation to be together in a healthier way.

If you find that this is something you want to try, learn more about, or really adopt - grab a call with me to discuss how you can easily do this with both work and family.

For those of you that you are ready to explore a coach as a partner on your journey, please explore our coaching membership. This membership is designed to let you step into coaching on a month-to-month basis, without a long-term contract, and tackle the things that challenge you the most right away.

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